Giving grace to our audiences
Read the next little bit from this 29th verse.
29 but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. (Ephesians 4:29b–ESV)
It is inevitable that our lives tell stories. Even the less talkative among us exude them. Target constructive speech; pay attention to the occasion and live that others may be built up.
When I tell patients they have glaucoma, or that I am worried that they may have glaucoma a variety of reactions come. Some are non-plussed. Others gather around them immediate fears like a hen does with her chicks. It is not healthy to rake your fears all up around and under yourself. That is not a good chair to sit in, but even so people do it. I try to diffiuse that fear. I try to discuss the long term nature of the disease and the low likelihood for blindness. Many times I will say, “Be worried enough to keep your visits, but not so worried that your day goes sad. We have to be careful with this, but the likelihood that you will go blind is very small, especially if we keep your eye pressure controlled.”
Another thing: “We are winning!” I have found that some other patients will really be cheered, encouraged by that phrase. When they are taking their drops, their eye pressure is good, and their imaging studies are up to date I will tell them they are winning! “Keep up the good work!” Some of their eyes will glimmer a tiny bit better when told that.
This is building up. That is tying encouragement to the occasion. While most folks are not eye docs or even general docs most have people they can encourage. See if you can look at what they are doing and point out the good there. Never mislead, never be dishonest, but scout hard for things they do well and build them up.
There is another group out there
While we are speaking and living purposefully toward one person or group of people others are nearby. We could call them the untargeted hearers. Those people hear and they get a smattering of your dose as well.
When the words and styles they watch you give others are constructive important things happen in their psyches. They get to see God’s way in action for others. To see God’s character is to receive God’s grace. Our lives smoke that up around us. A little good in communities that experience so little makes a difference. A smokestack putting out white steam among the charcoal stacks stands out. Eyes get drawn there. Those may be the things they think about later. A little light in a dark room goes a long way. A little white in black paint changes the whole hue.
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